


Red

by itsthebat



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU, DCU (Comics), Nightwing (Comics), Titans (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Birdflash - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, It has a happy ending I swear, M/M, SO, So there you go, and tbh i dont know very well what it is, and they were probably right, but its birdflash, dc you cowards make birdflash happen, i started reading titans the other day and, its not really young justice centered but whatever, my birdflash heart had to write something, so you should read it, someone said i should tag this with angst, there you go enjoy this suffering, this is after wallys back from the speedforce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-02 16:09:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14548425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsthebat/pseuds/itsthebat
Summary: Dick's been dreaming about red flashes and kisses and someone caressing his skin, and he just wants to know who is it.





	1. Let it be you

Dick’s tired.

            This has probably been the most exhausting day of his entire life. For starters, he woke up at six a.m. after an hour of sleep because he was meeting Bruce at seven to talk about some Batman stuff. After that, he’d planned to go home and sleep a bit, but Jason called and asked if Dick wanted to have lunch with him, and Jason _never_ wanted to have lunch with his brothers, so Dick had to say yes. Then, around four p.m. he went home to finally take a nap, but Roy called to say that Clayface was terrorizing people and the Titans needed him. So Dick went. When Clayface was defeated, Donna suggested going to eat something, and Dick couldn’t say no, because if he said no, then Donna would ask him what was wrong and Dick would have to answer because he couldn’t lie to her.

            So he pretended to be lively, happy and no-tired the whole time. But it didn’t end there, no. After that, Wally said that they should see a movie or something at the Tower, and everyone agreed. Dick went, half a zombie already, and stayed awake the whole movie. And _then_ , _finally_ , he fell face-first to his bed at the tower, because he had no energy left in his body, closed his eyes and started to snore.

            It was great. The best sleep he’s ever had, except that he only slept for like two hours until he woke up crying.

            It’s not the first time that it’s happened, so it’s not a big deal when Dick gasps, waking up in a cold sweat and with tears running down his cheeks. When he remembers where he is, why he’s here, he sighs and closes his eyes. He hugs his knees and resists the urge to sob.

            He’s so _damn_ tired of this. It’s been happening for _months_ —he has nightmares, and he always wakes up crying. The worst thing is that he barely remembers what the nightmares are about. He can only recall flashes of red, someone kissing him, caressing his skin, words spoken softly against his ear. They’re not even nightmares, but they sure as hell feel like it.

            But it’s not only that—the nightmares feel like something—when he wakes up from them, Dick feels like he’s missing something. Some _one_. It’s like when you leave your jacket at home but only notice you’ve left it when it’s cold and you _really_ need it. Dick doesn’t know what or who he’s missing, but he needs it and he needs it _badly_.

            Dragging a hand down his face and wiping the tears away, he stands up. He chuckles to himself, because now that he doesn’t have to do anything, now that no one wants him to do anything, he can’t sleep. Maybe he doesn’t want to either, but that’s another thing completely.

            He goes to the kitchen to have some water—Dick doesn’t even bother to turn the lights on, and he hears Wally squeal in surprise when he _does_ turn the lights on and notices Dick.

            “What,” he begins, a hand against his heart, “are you doing?”

            Dick puts the glass aside. “Drinking water.”

            He snickers when he notices Wally’s clothes: the shirt’s bright yellow and too small for him, doesn’t even cover his stomach, and he’s wearing sweatpants with blue and white stripes.

            Wally rolls his eyes. “I _mean_ , what are you doing here in the dark? I know Batman was your mentor and all that, but this is just _creepy_.”

            Dick shrugs and drinks what’s left in the glass. Wally, on the other hand, comes closer to get water too, but stops looking for a glass when he notices Dick’s eyes. “Dude,” he says, his voice calm and soft and worried. “Are you okay?”

            “Yeah,” Dick says, though it sounds like a _no_. He feels tears prickling in his eyes again for whatever reason, and he remembers his nightmares again—red flashes, kisses on his neck, laughs—and he has to lean on the countertop because he can’t take it.

            “Whoa!” Wally catches him when Dick crumbles, and god, this is embarrassing. But it’s also comforting, and Dick doesn’t know how to take that. “What’s wrong? Dick?”

            “I’m just—tired.”

            “You’re _crying_ ,” Wally deadpans, and Dick laughs, but it’s sour and mixed with sobs and this is awful. He shakes his head, thinking of something to say, but before he can open his mouth Wally says, “C’mon, let’s go to my room.”

            Dick feels his cheeks burning, and he _hates_ it. “Wally, I’m fine. I just—”

            “ _La_ , _la_ , _la_ , I can’t hear you,” he singsongs, taking Dick to his room.

            Dick closes his eyes and lets Wally lead him, and he thinks about his nightmares. They started a couple months ago, out of the blue—when Wally came back from the Speedforce, when Dick remembered his best friend, the nightmares stopped for a while. He could sleep whole nights without waking up crying, and Dick thought that he wasn’t going to get nightmares anymore… until now.

            He hears sobs, but he doesn’t want to admit they are his, and _goddammit_. He feels Wally’s hands against his hips, over his shirt, and that’s the only thing he can think about until they get to Wally’s room and his hands disappear. Wally’s cheeks are flushed, but maybe that’s only because he carried Dick all the way here. Maybe.

            Dick sits on the bed, rubs his eyes with his hands and waits for Wally to say something.

            “So,” Wally mumbles, and he looks kinda nervous. “What’s wrong with you?”

            “The usual,” Dick says, flashing a smile, trying to look as charming as ever, because if there’s one thing he doesn’t like to talk about, it’s his feelings. He can make Damian or Tim or even _Jason_ tell him everything, but he wouldn’t do the same. How ironic. Wally raises an eyebrow. “I’m stressed?”

            Wally shakes his head. “You don’t cry when you’re stressed. Come on!” He comes closer and sits right next to Dick, his arms and legs touching. Wally’s ridiculous shirt is making Dick nervous. “We’ve been friends for a long, _long_ time.” He leans closer; Dick knows he’s blushing. “I’ve seen you naked.”

            “Okay,” Dick squeals, getting up. Wally’s grinning. “ _Okay_.”

            The other day he was scrolling down the album on his phone, looking for pictures of Wally and him, because ever since Wally came back, photos of him, of the two of them, started appearing on his phone. And he was looking for a photo that proved _something_ Dick had been thinking about when Donna entered his room without knocking. Dick tried to hide his phone, but she was an Amazon and she was fast and she caught a glimpse of a photo in which Wally was kissing Dick’s cheek.

            “Ohh,” she cooed, lying in the bed with Dick. “So, you and Wally?”

            “No,” Dick had blurted out, blushing. He was blushing a little bit too much every time someone mentioned Wally, and it was straight up _killing_ him. “I was just, um, looking for—”

            Donna laughed. “You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to,” she said, nudging him. She caught the phone from Dick’s hand, looked at the picture. “It’s cute,” she mumbled, smiling. Dick smiled too. “You think you two—”

            “I don’t know,” Dick said. And that’s the point, he doesn’t know and he doesn’t know how to ask either and he doesn’t even know how he feels about it.

            Wally’s still looking at him, his eyes burning holes in Dick. If only he could _ask_ , just three words. If only he had the strength. But he’s scared of the answer, he’s scared that if Wally says _yes_ things are going to change, but if he says _no_ Dick’s going to be devastated.

            He looks at Wally, biting his lower lip. Why can’t he remember? Wally said years were snatched from them, that they didn’t only forget Wally, but a whole lifetime, a lifetime that only Wally remembers. Dick looks at the freckles on his face, his blue eyes, his red hair.

            He recalls his nightmares, flashes of the brightest red, a mouth against his own, _I love you’s_ whispered in the dark, and Dick’s too afraid to ask. Because he knows. He knows that he likes Wally, perhaps a bit too much, but what if Wally doesn’t like him? What if his dreams are not memories, but only _dreams_? What if he wants him so bad his brain has started to make things up? What if what if what if.

            “I’m—” Wally begins, but Dick interrupts him: “I’ve been thinking about someone.”

            Wally opens his eyes really big, as if he just heard something he didn’t want to. “Oh?”

            “There’s—there’s someone I can’t stop thinking about.” Dick fidgets with his own fingers, can’t even look at Wally in the eye. “I don’t know who that is, though. I… I don’t know who I’m thinking about, but I know they are important. I mean, it’s… sad.”

            Wally looks dumbfounded, but Dick doesn’t stop rambling. He knows, if he keeps this to himself any longer, it’s going to destroy him in some way. “You said… you said years have been taken away from us, right? That’s why we didn’t remember you. That’s why you didn’t appear in any photos until you came back, right?” Wally nods. “And you are the only one who remembers anything at all about those years?”

            “Yeah,” he says, scratching the back of his neck. “I mean, I think so. Why are you asking this?”

            “Maybe you remember who I can’t stop thinking about,” Dick mutters, sitting on the bed again. “Maybe you… know who is it I have on my mind all the time.”

            Before, Wally looked ready to go out and start a race against Superman. Now, he looks… sad. Like he knows something he doesn’t want to tell Dick. Dick feels like he’s about to cry again, or maybe it’s just that he’s nervous. It’s killing him, not knowing, but he can’t bring himself to speak the words.

            “You… I…” Wally looks like he’s about to be sick. “I dunno,” he finally says. Dick’s spirits fall. “You didn’t tell me, if you were with someone. I’m sorry, Dick. I don’t know.”

            “Wally,” Dick chokes, closes his eyes. He covers his face with his hands and feels Wally’s fingers on his shoulder, trying to guess what’s wrong. And Dick wants to ask, wants to ask so badly he thinks he’s going to burst into tears again. _Are you the one I dream about every night? Are you the one I whisper I love you? Are you the one I can’t remember loving?_ His chest is heavy and he can’t breathe and in a second, in the lowest voice ever, Dick asks, “Were we together?”

            “No,” Wally says. His hand disappears from Dick’s shoulder, and he gets up from the bed, walks away. “We weren’t. I—I don’t know what you’re going through, but we weren’t together. We’ve—we’ve always been just _friends_.”

            There are always flashes of red, hands touching his skin, brushing against all his scars. Dick’s always saying how badly he wants to kiss every single freckle on their skin, and they laugh, challenge him to do so, and Dick starts to kiss their face, neck, collarbone and down down _down_. There are always flashes of red, and then they whisper that they don’t want to wake up, that they don’t want to stop, not now, not ever. And Dick kisses them and they both laugh and it’s the happiest he’s ever been, and he thought it was Wally, he thought it was Wally all along, that it was a memory, that it was flashbacks from a time he can’t remember.

            “I’m sorry,” Wally mumbles. “I think you should get some sleep, buddy.”

            “Yeah.” He tries very hard not to cry, at least not until he’s alone in his bedroom, not until Wally’s not there. “You’re right.”

            So he gets up. Dick can’t even look at Wally, and he can’t hold the tears anymore when Donna gets out of her room, asks what’s wrong.

            He can’t see it when Wally starts crying either.


	2. Don't let go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be a two-chapter story, but chapter two was too long so I decided to make it a three-chapter story!

_**then** _

 

“Ooh, I have one. Listen, this is going to be the best joke you’ve ever heard.”

            Dick rolls his eyes. “That’s what you’ve been saying for the past _hour_.”

            Wally nudges him, but they are both laughing. “What do you call a bear without teeth?”

            “This is going to hurt,” Roy mutters, and this time Donna is the one who nudges him.

            “A gummy bear!”

            Every one of the Titans groans. “Wally,” Dick says, closing his eyes and putting his hand on Wally’s shoulder, as if he couldn’t stand up on his own. “You’re killing me. You’re killing your best friend.”

            Dick had missed this. After that horrendous night, in which he couldn’t stop crying and everything went from worse to absolute worst, things had been weird between him and Wally—which was understandable, because asking your best friend if he’d been your boyfriend in another timeline was weird as hell. Two months acting as if anything had happened and without talking too much had done the trick, though.

            And now the whole team is walking around the circus, not because a villain is here, but because they _want to_. Everything’s strangely _normal_.

            “That was a good one,” Wally mumbles. Dick nudges him, and Wally nudges him back.

            Dick still likes him, though. Donna says that it’s very noticeable, but who cares? Wally made very clear that they were never together, and that meant that he didn’t want anything with Dick either. Which was totally fine. Dick has had crushes before, he knows how to deal with them. More or less.

            “Ohh,” Wally says again. Lilith groans, and Garth takes her hand and mutters something about _hearing a fish asking for help_ before disappearing. Roy snorts, and Wally rolls his eyes. “I wasn’t going to tell another joke.”

            “You weren’t?” Roy asks.

            “Anyway,” Wally decides to say. “I was going to suggest buying cotton candy. I haven’t had some in a while, and I’m _famished_.”

            “You’re always famished,” Dick reminds him.

            “Whatever.” He spins until he sees a cotton candy cart, and when he does, he jumps like a five-year-old. “I love the circus,” he mutters. Then, to the others: “Who wants some?”

            “Not me,” Donna says. Roy shakes his head, and when Wally turns to Dick, Dick sees Roy winking at him and smirking, which Dick decides to ignore.

            “Dick?”           

            He opens his mouth to say no, because cotton candy is too sweet and he ate so much when he was a kid that now he hates it, but his brain has the picture of Roy winking at him on repeat, and when his mouth opens again he hears the words, “Yeah, okay.”

            Roy laughs _very_ loudly. Wally looks at him, surely wanting to ask what’s happening, because Donna is also grinning, and Dick has the urge to drag a hand down his face and running like Garth and Lilith, because Donna has probably told Roy about Dick’s crush on Wally and _why him?_

            “You are acting weird today,” Wally says.

            “Me?” Roy lifts his hands in defeat. Donna is biting her lips so she doesn’t burst out laughing too. Dick’s going to kill them. “I’m always like this, man.”

            Wally shakes his head. “Whatever,” he repeats. Then he catches Dick’s hand and guides them towards the cotton candy cart. And if Dick wasn’t too busy trying not to blush, he would have punched Donna. Because his crush was supposed to be a secret—he doesn’t care that she and Roy make heart eyes at each other all the time, she wasn’t supposed to tell him. Or… maybe it really is too noticeable. Maybe even _Roy_ noticed.

            He groans, though he’s too busy trying not to focus on Wally’s hand, still grabbing his own, even when they reach the cart. Wally doesn’t let go, and Dick probably looks like a tomato.

            They don’t say anything for a while, but the silence’s not so bad. Dick has been trying to avoid being alone with Wally because he’d thought that it’d be too awkward, that Wally would ask about that night or that maybe Dick would start crying again, so this is the first time they are alone—well, without the rest of the team, because there are lots of people around them—in months, and Dick feels nice.

            It’s starting to feel like Wally’s his friend again, not this strange person he dreams about.

            “The other day,” Wally begins, beaming at Dick, “I couldn’t sleep, so I went running around the city. I passed a street that had this cute, little shop. I don’t remember the name, but I know the owner does everything in there with wood, it’s amazing. Anyway, I was running and there was a little figure that caught my attention—a robin.”

            Dick smiles, and he knows he’s going to like the rest of the story. “It was a wooden robin, of course, and it was really, really small. I was going to buy it and give it to you, but when I went the next day—bam, it was gone.”

            “It’s the intention what counts,” Dick says.

            Wally grins. “Yeah, but I’m going to find it, and I’m going to give it to you. Mark my words, boy wonder.”

            “It’s been a while since someone called me that.”

            “Bah, you’re always going to be my boy wonder.”

            Blushing. He’s totally blushing. And if Dick weren’t looking at the floor, he would’ve noticed that Wally was blushing, too.

            “Are you better?” Wally asks after a while. Dick quirks his brow. “I mean, you look better than… a couple months ago. Are you sleeping better?”

            Ooh, not that. Dick’s not ready to talk about that night, but apparently Wally is. He feels his hands starting to sweat, and he wants to let go of Wally’s hand but he doesn’t want to at the same time, and he feels like he’s about to be sick.

            “I’m fine.”

            “You look fine,” Wally mutters.

            Dick closes his eyes for a second, and when he opens them Wally is talking to the man selling cotton candy, asking for two. So Dick looks at him, and it kills him that he can’t tell—he can’t tell why is he doing this to himself, because even though Wally’s his best friend, even though Dick likes him, he shouldn’t do this to himself. He should let go of his hand, start talking with other boys, with other girls, start thinking of other things.

            Even though he doesn’t dream of red red _red_ as often now, he thinks about it. Every time he’s trying to focus on a case, or when he’s bored or when he’s trying to get some sleep, Wally comes suddenly to his mind, and red hair and freckles and lips is all he can see. He imagines Wally’s laugh and he dreams of his jokes—as bad as they are.

            He hasn’t told anyone, not even Donna, because he knows if he would, she’d think he’s a creep, because this is just too much. But Dick can’t shake off the feeling that Wally’s lying, that it’s him in his dreams.

            When Wally lets go of his hand to get some money to the man, Dick turns around and walks away. Even though he hears Wally calling him, he doesn’t turn around, and for one time he wishes Wally wasn’t so fast because he’s by his side in two seconds, holding two cotton candy that are way too pink and way too sugary and Dick wants to scream.

            “What’s wrong?” Wally asks. His hair is too long and his eyes are too bright and goddammit, Dick likes it anyway.

            “Nothing,” he says. “I’m just feeling a little bit sick.”

            He still sees red, only not in his dreams, and it’s _fucking him up_.

            “I just want it to stop,” he mumbles.

            Wally throws away the cotton candy, takes Dick’s hands in his own. “What do you want to stop?” His voice is soft and sincere and lovingly and far too perfect. “You know you can tell me everything.”

            _I love you_ , he wants to say. _I want you_ , he wants to say. _Stay with me_ , he wants to say.

            Dick opens his mouth, but something explodes before he can say anything.

            _Boom boom boom_! and suddenly Wally’s not holding his hands any longer and Dick’s on the floor and he thinks there is blood on his hands and his ears are ringing. His vision is blurry, but he can see people running he can hear people screaming and there’s a man holding his child asking for help and he wants to get up but it hurts too much.

            _A bomb_ , he thinks, catching up. Dick groans. _Bombs_. More than one. Probably more. He has to get out of there, he was to help people get out of there.

            He manages to sit. There’s blood running down his temple and he feels like—a bomb has exploded, yeah. There are people crying and screaming and asking for help everywhere, and he should get in his Nightwing costume and help but the world is spinning too much and feels like he’s going to be sick or pass out or both and—

            “Dick!” someone shouts. Dick turns his head and sees Wally running towards him in his Flash suit.

            Dick lifts a hand towards Wally. And he’s so, so close. Their fingers almost are touching when—

            _Boom_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... sorry. This is being more angsty than I thought it would be. Anyway, I hope you liked it! Tell me what you think about it on the comments!!  <3


	3. Please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you have tissues nearby because this is SAD.

**now**

 

            _He’ll be lucky if he survives the night. He’s fine. He’ll wake up soon. There have been some complications, we need to take him again. He’s fine. We don’t know when he’ll wake up. He’ll be lucky if he wakes up. We don’t know what’s wrong with him, but he’s fine. I’m sorry, Wally. He’ll wake up, you’ll see. He looks like he’s dead, oh my god. No, he’s fine. This can’t be happening. Please do something, anything. Goddammit, he’s so stupid, this shouldn’t be happening. Not again, not again, not again. He’s fine._

            Seeing so many machines beeping at the same time, so many tubes and IVs and things Wally doesn’t even know the name of makes him queasy, but he hasn’t left the hospital ever since Dick was brought here. The only chair in the room practically has his name written—not even Bruce or Dick’s brothers tell him to get up, they just stand beside Dick while Wally watches, waits for Dick to finally wake up.

            He’s been waiting for two weeks, but nothing’s happened. No one knows what’s wrong with Dick or how to help him, and it’s _infuriating_. And Wally’s supposed to do something—look for the one who put the bombs in the circus with the rest of the Titans, try to find a cure for whatever Dick has, anything. But he just… can’t.

            He feels like he’s lost a limb. Numb, paralyzed, devastated. He shouldn’t have kept it a secret. He should have told him. Dick wouldn’t be like this if Wally had told him.

            “Hey,” Donna mumbles, knocking on the door. Wally looks at her but doesn’t say anything. She’s wearing civilian clothes, but her hair is messy and she has a nasty cut on her cheek. “Any news?”

            Wally shakes his head. He wants to cry or scream or maybe both at the same time. Donna walks toward him and puts a hand on Wally’s shoulder. She doesn’t say anything for a while, but Wally can almost hear her thinking, blaming herself for not finding whoever did this, blaming herself for what’s happened to Dick, even though she wasn’t even there when it happened.

            “I feel so useless,” she whispers, as if she didn’t want to admit it. “Standing here, not able to do anything. I want to punch whoever did this, and I can’t even do that.”

            _Whoa, same_ , thinks Wally. He shakes his head.

            He remembers Dick, just before the bombs went off. His panicked face, eyes wide open and pale skin and mouth opened to say something. _I just want it to stop_ , he’d said. _What do you want to stop?_ Wally had asked, though he knew—he knew what was going on with Dick, but he was too afraid to talk to him.

            Donna sighs. “Was it true?” Wally looks at her, eyes puffy. “You and him?”

            If he weren’t so tired, Wally would have run away. Run and run and run until he couldn't move his legs anymore. But he’s tired. He’s kept this secret to himself for too long, and he fears that if he keeps it to himself any longer he’s going to explode and it’s going to be worse.

            So he just shrugs, and Donna sighs again. Sometimes Wally forgets how smart she is—she probably knew even before Dick told her about his nightmares—dreams—whatever.

            “You should’ve told him,” she says, looking at Dick. Even though he’s been out for two weeks, he has bags under his eyes and bruises that haven’t faded yet covering his skin. “He thinks that he’s gone crazy, Wally.”

            “I know,” Wally sobs, covering his face with his hands. “I was just—it scared me.”

            He remembers the night Dick told him about his nightmares, how he dreamed of red flashes— _flashes_ , how _ironic_ —and someone kissing him and caressing his skin and someone whispering _I love you_ and it just… Wally panicked. When he came back from the Speedforce, when Dick was just a friend, Wally panicked. He remembers the first night after the Speedforce, how he cried until he had no tears to shed because all those years—all those memories—were just _his_.

            Everything they went through—the first kiss and the second and the third, the first time one of them said _I love you_ , the fights and the hugs and everything just _gone_.

            “We had a life,” he says. “We’d been together for _years_.”

            “Wally—”

            “He doesn’t remember any of that,” he interrupts. “ _I_ do. For him, it would be like the first time he’s ever been with me—for me? I would tell him that I love him every hour of every day, and Dick would freak out because he doesn’t even know half the things I know. It’s… I don’t know.”

            “He remembers some things. He told me about—”

            _Beep beep beep beep beep_.

            Wally gets by Dick’s side in less than a second, looks at the machines, only to realize that it’s Donna’s phone what is beeping.

            “Sorry,” she says, “Roy says they need me, but call us if anything happens. Or if you need to talk. Wally,” she says before turning around, “we are here for you.”

            She leaves, and Wally is once more left alone with his memories. This time, he thinks of the first time they kissed.

***

Wally wants to jump from the window.

            It’s not that he doesn’t like parties, he _hates_ them. There’s always too much noise and too many drunk people and too many people altogether, and it makes him antsy and he just wants to crouch on a corner and close his eyes until everyone’s gone. So now he’s in a corner, and he’s about to crouch when Dick comes.

            He’s carrying a glass of _something_ , his button-up shirt is completely open and he’s swaying from side to side. When Wally realizes he’s practically drooling while looking at his abs, he stops and looks at his face instead, though the drooling doesn’t stop.

            “Wally,” Dick says, leaning on the Wall beside Dick. “Wallman, hey. Have you seen Zee?”

            Yeah, cool. This is Zatanna’s birthday, and Dick’s probably looking for her to give a birthday kiss—Wally’s seen the way Dick looks at her, the way he talks to her. While Wally drools over Dick, Dick drools over Zatanna. 

            “Nope,” Wally says. Dick closes his eyes for a moment, and Wally isn’t sure he’s still awake until he smiles really big, like a madman.

            “That’s fine,” Dick mumbles. He takes a sip from the glass, wrinkles his nose and offers some to Wally, who shakes his head. Dick shrugs and downs what’s left in one gulp. “Whoa, that’s strong.”

            Wally knows Dick has gotten himself drunk because of the fight he had with Bruce. Wally was dozing off on the couch at the Titans Tower a few days ago when Dick came in. He usually stayed the night at the Manor, so it was weird enough that he’d come to the tower at—two am. Wally stood up, opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but before he could say _hi_ Dick had his arms wrapped around Wally and was sobbing softly against his shoulder.

            Dick and Bruce had argued about Robin, about vigilantism, about Batman. It was usual, between the two of them, but this fight had left Dick pretty shaken up. So now he’s drowning his sorrows on alcohol. Good solution… for a few hours.

            “You know what,” Dick says suddenly, brushing a hand through Wally’s hair. “You have a really nice hair.”

            “Um—”

            “Nice lips, also.”

            Yeah, his face is the color of his hair now. Red. The brightest shade of red. Wally knows it’s the alcohol speaking, but goddammit. He tries to say something, but his mouth only opens and closes as if he were a fish, not a word coming from it. He looks like an idiot.

            Dick giggles. “It’s funny,” he says, taking a step closer, “how no one recognizes you as the Flash. I mean,” he checks Wally out from feet to head, then raises both eyebrows, “you are very recogn—recognis— _recognizable_. For starters, your hair. Very nice, red hair.”

            Now he doesn’t know if he wants to jump from the window or stab himself with a plastic fork. Dick doesn’t notice this, of course, and keeps talking.

            “Then, your eyes. What the hell, Wally? How can someone look at your eyes and then _not_ recognize you? I mean, Kori has pretty green eyes, but yours? I could look at them until forever.”

            Alright, he’s panicking. He’s going to jump from the window in three, two, one…

            “Civilians are dumb not to recognize you,” Dick finishes with a smirk.

            “Hey, Zatanna’s over there,” Wally says. Not because Zatanna’s over there, he still doesn’t know where she is, but because he looks like a freaking tomato and the window’s too close and he’s about to start screaming if Dick keeps saying nice things about him.

            However, Dick shrugs and takes another step closer. Wally can feel his breath on his face when Dick says, “I don’t really care about her right now.”

            Wally’s stopped working, that’s it, Dick has broken him. He’s about to say he has to go to the bathroom or just run away without saying anything when suddenly Dick gets very pale, then kind of green; he lets the glass on a table near them and covers his mouth with his hands.

            “I’m gonna puke,” he blurts out. Wally panics even more, carries Dick to the bathroom using his speed and in less than half a second Dick’s vomiting. Cool, cool, cool, this is a freaking disaster.

            Wally kneels next to Dick and pats him on the back. “There you go,” he says. “There you go, buddy.”

            “ _Blerggg_ ,” answers Dick.

            This looks like one of the rom-coms Barry likes to watch. Now all he has to do is get Dick back to his house safely, kiss him on the cheek lovingly and keep crushing on him in secret. Easy peasy, he can do it. He’s been doing it for months—he crushing-on-Dick part, not the kissing-him-on-the-cheek part. Obviously.

            “You know what,” Dick says after a while. He has his forehead against the toilet, which is not very nice, because this is a party full of drunk strangers and there’s only one bathroom. “I was talking with Donna, the other day.”

            He looks like he’s about to be sick again, but he doesn’t vomit when he says, “She told me you might have a crush on me.”

            There’s no window here; Wally thinks he’s going to pass out.

            “Is it true?” He smiles dreamily, catches Wally’s hand with his. “I mean, I would be cool with it. More than cool—super-cool.”

            “Um.”

            “I mean, I kinda have a crush on you too.”

            Wally opens his eyes so big he thinks they are going to pop out of their sockets. Dick closes his eyes and laughs lowly. “Don’t look so surprised, it’s quite obvious.”

            “Not to me, no.”

“I just told you I like your lips.”

            Wally throws his hands on the hair. “Yeah, well! That’s the only crush-y thing you’ve done!”

            Dick rolls his eyes. “The other day I cried on your shoulder because I had a fight with my dad.”

            “That’s what best friends are for.”

            “That’s what boyfriends are for too.”

            Is this really happening? Is this _really_ happening? Dick Grayson is telling him he has a crush on him, and Wally is trying to deny it? That’s it, he’s the fastest, most stupid man alive.

            Dick closes his eyes, his breathing even. He has bags under his eyes and looks like if someone has just punched him in the gut; his hair is sticking to his sweaty skin and his shirt is open and wet with spilled alcohol, but he looks handsome anyway. Wally wants to bury his hands in his hair and tell him how much he likes him.

            “So,” he says, trying to revive the conversation.

            “So,” Dick repeats, smiling. His smile gets bigger, and he says, “We should kiss.”

            “What?” Wally blurts out, because he was prepared for every possible answer except that one. “We shouldn’t.”

            “Why not? We like each other. We just confessed it. This is the best moment for us to kiss.”

            “You—you just vomited,” Wally says.

            Dick laughs. He has his head against the toilet and looks only half-alive but his laugh still sends electricity down Wally’s spine. Dick says, “If you don’t kiss me, I’m gonna kiss you.”

            Wally presses his lips together, thinking. Which is very, very stupid, because he’s been wanting to kiss Dick for months and now that he can, he doesn’t want to. Or he’s afraid to. Whatever. He should just wait until tomorrow, because Dick is drunk and he’s dozing off and tomorrow he might not remember this and what if he doesn’t remember this? What if Dick forgets this conversation and that he told Wally that he liked his lips and—

            Dick puts his hand on the back of Wally’s neck and then he presses their lips together. Wally _oomphs_ , Dick giggles, and now they are kissing. Tongue against tongue, Wally feels Dick smiling and then he’s smiling too and the kiss tastes weird but they are kissing and then it’s just the two of them on the floor or a dirty bathroom _kissing_.

            After what feels like hours they break apart, but not very much, because their foreheads are one against the other and Wally can see how bright Dick’s eyes are.

            “Wally, my man,” Dick says, “You _can_ kiss.”

            They burst out laughing, and then they kiss again.

***

And now it’s just gone.

            Wally wipes the tears away from his face, looks at Dick, still comatose. He looks at peace, even though Wally knows that he’s probably hurting, and he can’t help but wonder what would happen if he told him that he was right, that they were together. Ever since Dick came to his room that night, when he asked if they had been together, Wally's been having nightmares too.

            In his nightmares he doesn’t see red flashes or kisses or hands against his skin, but sorrow and sadness and sometimes things from that other timeline, and things that here didn’t happen. He sees Dick screaming at him, telling him to go away, to get away from him. He sees Roy playing with Lian— _Lian_ —and Dick looking at her with heart eyes, Wally panicking a little. There’s also Dick on the pavement, bleeding everywhere and eyes that don’t see anymore. He revives that day at the circus too, when he was too late, when he couldn’t save him.

            He wakes up screaming, crying, and Dick’s not there by his side to comfort him like he used to, and Wally only has memories that didn’t happen here and it hurts so, so much.

            If he tells Dick, what’s going to happen? Donna said that Dick still likes—loves?—him, that he’s remembered some things, but what about that? That doesn’t mean anything compared to the years they lost, to every memory Dick doesn’t have.

            Wally catches Dick’s hand, watches his chest rise and fall. “Wake up,” he sobs, closing his eyes. “Please wake up.” He remembers Dick beaming at him, hugging him, saying _I do_. “Please please please,” he begs to whoever is willing to listen. “I can’t do this without you.”

            A beat, and then the machines start beeping.

***

A week later, the Titans come to visit.

            They’ve come before, but one or two at a time. Roy likes to come alone because he cries every time he sees Dick asleep on the bed, and he doesn’t want anyone to see him while he cries. Garth usually comes with Lilith and Donna, and Donna comes almost every day alone because she likes to see Dick and make Wally some company.

            But now they are all there, and they are talking and it’s like Dick’s awake, chatting with them too, though Wally is aware that he’s not.

            A week ago Dick died for two whole minutes. Ever since that day, a lot of superheroes have come to visit. Superman, Zatanna, Diana. Even Aquaman and Mera paid a visit. “He’s just so damn popular,” commented Jason Todd, wiping a few tears discretely from his cheeks.

            “So the waiter says, ‘Enjoy your meal,’ and Roy answered, ‘You too, sir’ and the waiter stopped for a second, looked at Roy dead in the eye, and I could’ve sworn he was going to kill Roy with a fork.” Donna laughs, and with her the rest of the Titans. Except for Roy, who is blushing.

            “It was an accident,” Roy mumbles, rolling his eyes. “It’s happened to everyone.”

            “He was so embarrassed,” Donna continues, sticking out her tongue at Roy. “He couldn’t even talk to the waiter anymore. He told me, ‘Donna, please, I just can’t—’” He hits her on the arm, which makes everyone laugh louder. “Hey!”

            “I’m going to grab something to eat,” Garth says after a while, still laughing. “I’m famished.”

            “I hope they have tuna sandwiches,” Roy says. Gath glares at him, and Lilith barks a laugh and says, “I kinda want a tuna sandwich now.” Garth groans. They look at Dona and Wally—Wally just shakes his head.

            Donna says, “I’ll go in a minute.”

            Once they are gone, Donna hugs Wally. It’s unexpected but nice and necessary, and Wally’s crying before he can even think about how much he wants to cry. He buries his head in the crook of Donna’s neck while she pats him on the back.

            “He’s going to be okay,” she mutters. _You don’t know that_ , Wally wants to scream. “He’s going to be okay,” she repeats, and then: “And when he wakes up, you are going to tell him about your relationship, and you two are going to have your happily ever after.”

            Wally sniffs. “It’s not fair.” He knows he sounds like a kid, but he feels like one right now. “He was—it was our day off, we were supposed to enjoy a day at the circus.”

            “I know.” Donna breaks the hug, looks at Wally in the eye. She brushes a strand of hair away from Wally’s face and smiles a little. “He’s going to be fine.” Wally isn’t sure if she’s saying this to convince him or herself.

            She sighs and looks at Dick. So pale and weak and almost dead, and then she says, “I’m sorry,” and Wally can hear her cry as she goes away.

            This is wrong and sad and this shouldn’t be happening, this isn’t happening, this isn’t happening this isn’t happening this isn’t—

            Wally kneels next to the bed, rests his forehead against the mattress. “Wake up,” he cries, shaking his head. “You have to wake up. You have to be okay. _Dick_.” He looks at him, his eyes still closed, purple bags under them. It’s like he’s asleep, like he’ll wake up at any second. “I need you. I don’t care—I don’t care that you don’t remember. We were together, and it’s me the red flashes you dream about. Dick. I love you. I love you _so_ _much_ , you have to wake up.”

            He takes Dick’s hand between his, kisses his knuckles. He remembers kissing him for the first time in a dirty bathroom, kissing him a second time the day after, when they woke up next to the other. He remembers when Dick whispered I love you when Wally kissed him on the cheek when he’d just come back from patrol. He remembers telling him I love you for the first time when Dick brought pizza for dinner. He remembers Dick laughing, asking, “That’s why you love me, because I bought pizza?” And then Wally was hugging him, leaving a trail of kisses from his neck down to his collarbone.

            He remembers and remembers but he doesn’t care if Dick doesn’t because they can make new memories, they can start over again a thousand times if necessary.

            It’s like Wally’s underwater and Dick’s oxygen and _he has to wake up_.

            “Please,” he mutters, closing his eyes, letting the tears fall,

            “You’re a dick,” Dick rasps.

            Wally looks up so fast he could have snapped his neck, but he wouldn’t have minded, because Dick is awake and he’s looking at him and he’s grinning and Wally has never seen something so beautiful and great and nice and oh god, he can’t stop crying.

            “I knew it,” Dick mutters, brushing his thumb against Wally’s fingers. “Jackass.”

            “I—you—Dick, I—” With his free hand, Dick cups Wally’s face.

            He’s smiling so brightly he looks like he’s just woken up from a nap. He says, “You need a haircut,” and Wally is kissing him before Dick can insult him again.

            It’s been so long since they kissed—so long, too long, and when Wally presses his lips against Dick’s it’s like they are kissing for the first time, a soft kiss that turns hungrier after a second. Wally feels tears rolling down his cheeks, but he smiles anyway.

            “You should’ve told me,” Dick mutters against Wally’s lips. Wally opens his mouth to answer, but—

            “Whoa,” mutters Garth. Roy’s sandwich falls to the floor, and Lilith smiles and Donna cries happy tears. “ _Whoa_ ,” Roy echoes.

            A beat, and then everyone is jumping and laughing and crying and Dick’s finally awake, and when Wally takes his hand again while the rest of the Titans are cheering, he whispers into Dick’s ear, “I love you.”

            And Dick grins and this time he is seeing the red flashes and he’s feeling the kisses and the hands caressing his skin and hearing the I love you’s and this time, when he opens his eyes, he laughs because it’s _real_.

            “I love you too, Wally.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So!!! That's it folks, the end. I really hope you liked it, and see! I told you! It has a happy ending!!! Tell me what you think on the comments, and if you want me to write another birdflash fic let me know, because I have some ideas *wink wink* Thank you for reading!!! <3


End file.
